Junk Food my enemy

Junk Food, my saviour!

I think the time is coming when I'm going to have to let go of my life saver, let go of one of the things that is holding me back. When my Mum was told she had developed Type 2 Diabetes I promised myself that I'd never let my health and my weight become to a point where I'd be scared that I was going to develop the disease myself. Twelve years later and I'm now scared every time I gain another kilo that I'm that one step closer to developing it. I need to change now, but I'm terrified. What would you do?

How do you break free of eight years of fear, eight years of eating because it made me feel good? I dont know what I'm going to do, but I know I need to do something, so if anyone does read this, please, help!

I don't want to just look good in clothes, I want to look great! I want to feel confident enough to do anything, but I know I'm holding myself back because I don't believe in myself. How does someone believe in themself when they think no one else does. Hell, I think everyone thinks badly about me even while they're saying nothing about me.

So, first stage of eliminating the Junk Food from my life will be no longer eating chocolate bars. But then I need to replace it with something else right? So maybe when I feel like a chocolate bar I have yoghurt? Sounds like something that I can do, something I can stick with.

To win back my life, I need to rid it of the Junk Food first. I'll figure the rest out along the way I suppose.

Till Next Time...

Freemasons

Today I went to, let me think, gotta get this right or my Dad will shoot me! The Installation of the new Grand Master of the United Grand Lodge of Mark Master Masons of Victoria; and I was actually allowed to sit in and watch the ceremony as it happened, which was amazing since I'm female. It was by ticket only and it was a unique look into the secret society that has been plagued with misrepresentation and such through history and movies alike.

The only really boring part is when you're sick, like me, and trying to stay awake while they bring in delegates from other grand lodges from other sections and chapters of the lodge. They all look amazing, some silly, but regal (one looked like the Pope) and I recognised a couple from movies, like the Knights Templar and such. Really the whole ordeal is a lot of fancy footwork, ritualistic readings, nothing sadistic or demeaning, simply recited, respectful use of language.

As you've probably guessed by now, my Father is a Master Mason. He's currently the Master of the Mark Lodge in Bendigo, Past-Master of the Bendigo Blue Lodge no. 714 and a member of a few other lodges that I can hardly keep up with them. So I'm a Mason's daughter, I'm referred to as such now that the knowledge that he was once in the ARMY is hidden behind his secret handshakes with people down the street and their closed door proceedings that until today were a mystery to me.

Once I figure out how to post pictures to this blog, I might attach some of the photos I took of today's proceedings for anyone interested.

I'd like this to be longer, but it's nearly 930pm and as mentioned, I'm sick, I've just been through 3hours of travel and 3.5hours of Freemasonary ceremony :)

So...

Till Next Time xx

Choices

Everyone has choices to make. Everyone is responsible for the choices they make. There is no handbook declaring which choices are going to be good or which are going to be bad. Your choices shape your life, or so I've been told. But how can you shape your life when you claim that you dont make any choices for yourself? You claim that everyone is guilting you, or forcing you to make these choices. If you think that even for a second, I say BULLSHIT, you're not only lying to yourself, you're creating monsters out of the people who care about you.

I know how damaging choices can be, we all do! No one is immune to making the wrong choice, no one can claim to have never made a mistake, because we all do. We're all human. Being human is about making mistakes, screwing up, fumbling around for that light switch and accidentally breaking the vase on your way through. Claiming to have no choice in what you do; is like saying you've gone through your entire life in a haze, arm behind your back, gun to your head forced into every decision you've ever made from being born to where you are now. That my friend, is denial. You're spending far too much time believing that you have no choice, you're fooling yourself and your the only one being fooled I'm afraid.

Everyone else sees you for who you are, loves you anyway and shouldn't care if you come or not, do that or don't. They are allowed to be upset when you say no, that is their choice. It's not their emotions that force you to go, it's not their use of the force compelling you to do something with them. That's just your excuse as to why you're doing it. Ultimately, your choices are your own. Ask yourself, wouldn't you rather be in charge instead of giving all that credit to outside forces?

Think about it. How often are you relinquishing the control of your life to another person because you don't want to face the consequences of your choice?

Sick Day

It's terrible you know, to start a blog or anything for that matter on a sour note, but unfortunately, I'm sick. Being sick isn't so bad all the time, it's simply the pathetic, weak feeling and the aching joints that really bug me.

But alas, here I am, starting my first official blog because I'm sick. Sick and bored :) Curled up on the couch watching all kinds of shows: Bones, NCIS, The Nanny Express and now Alice in Wonderland.

With the end of Alice in Wonderland rolling through the final scenes, I'll end my first blog, short and sweet as everyone loves a good speech.

Till Next Time.